StoryCorps Shorts: An Honest Life

♪♪ ♪♪ -I remember when I was about 17, I went to confess and told a priest that I thought there was something a little different in me, that I was attracted to men.

And the only advice he gave me was, "Be careful who you tell that to, son."

So I didn't tell anybody for another 17 years.

And the next person I told after that priest was your grandmother.

-Mm.

-I could not in all good conscience stay in the marriage.

It wasn't fair to Grandma, it wasn't fair to the children, it wasn't fair to me.

And one thing your grandmother had asked me to do when we separated was, "Please, never tell the children."

But there reached a period of time that I had to really sit down with each of the kids and just say the word "gay."

"I am gay."

But coming out to you was probably the most proudest moment I've ever had.

You were 9 years old, and Uncle John and I had just split up, and you came to visit me.

You had asked, "Where did Uncle John sleep?"

So I was very honest with you and said, you know, "Uncle John and I shared a room."

[ Laughing ] I remember you asking me, "Does Grandma Shirley know you're gay?"

And then you asked me, "Does my father know you're gay?"

"Does my mother know you're gay?"

[ Laughs ] And I didn't lie to you, and that's what I've strived for all my life, just to live honestly.

And many years I did not.

Even though I loved Grandma Shirley very much, and I loved being a father, I just felt I was not living an honest life.

-You know, I like to tell people that you paved the way for me.

-[ Chuckles ] -But when I came out of the closet, the first person to know wasn't you, Papa.

I was, uh, I think afraid of, you know, what you would think.

Would you be afraid for me?

I was... -Very real -- I had all those -- when you did.

-Yeah, so I didn't tell you right away.

But I'm so lucky to have you in my life.

You are my role model, and it's a privilege to have you as a grandpa.

-Ah, thank you, Jeffrey.

-I love you.

-I love you, too.

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